The Chase Store
Premium merchandise for people who want to be adjacent to success without actually doing anything.
Chase's Used Sauna Towel
Personally sweat-on by Chase during a 47-minute infrared session. Comes with certificate of authenticity and faint scent of ambition.
1 Hour of Eye Contact
Chase will stare directly into your soul for 60 uninterrupted minutes via Zoom. No blinking. No talking. Just pure, concentrated success transfer.
Vague Advice (PDF)
A 3-page PDF containing sentences like 'Think bigger' and 'Most people won't.' Volume 1 of 47. Each volume sold separately.
Chase's Morning Ice Water
Bottled directly from Chase's morning ice bath. Each bottle contains trace amounts of dissolved discipline and frozen ambition.
Motivational Voicemail
Chase will leave you a 30-second voicemail saying 'You got this, champ' in various tones. Replay value: infinite. Actual advice: zero.
PASSIVE INCOME Hoodie
Premium black hoodie with 'PASSIVE INCOME' in small white text. Wearing it doesn't generate passive income, but people will think you know something they don't.
Want the Full Collection?
The Chase Platinum Bundle includes all items, a signed NDA, and a framed photo of Chase pointing at you.
* Price increases every time someone visits this page (it doesn't)
* Nothing is for sale. You can't afford it anyway. This page exists purely so you can look at things you'll never own.